fuck * fucker de fuck * fuck *fuck

ha ha just felt like saying that!
the guy who was supposed to buy my car, suddenly wanted to make a really strange deal of paying me money but not putting the car on his name. So he would drive away with all the papers and still me being responsible if he made an accident or having fines etc.
So the deal was put off.

Anyway, to be totally honest, i really love my car, so not having it sold is not so bad.
Hope to find a good (and not criminal!!) person for the sale.

So keeping my fingers crossed!

joepie!! ai yeahhh!

fieeeuww! i am so lucky!

on Monday somebody drove off my side rear mirror (at the new years drink of my work) of my beautiful red flying speed wagon.

i felt so terrible, cause i sold my car, and the guy is gonna pick it up this Saturday. and i sold it with a side mirror! not without!

anyway, the next day, i send an email to all the workers of the whole organisation (700 people, so scary!!) asking them if the person who drove off my side mirror would contact me.

and yesterday i drove to a village near my city were i could buy a new mirror at a demolition firm, and it was the right one! i felt so happy, and a friend of mine is gonna place it tomorrow on my car!! joepie!

anyway, this morning i got an email from the lady who broke my mirror , so she's gonna pay for all the costs i made.

so i am so lucky (good karma!!), i really didn't expect somebody to react, and pay for all the damage!

today i sold the red flying speed wagon!!

Today I, again, put my car for sell on the Internet, and within 6 minutes it was sold. On Saturday the guy is gonna pick it up.
I just can't imagine that I am gonna lose my best material friend!
She's the best first car I could ever have.....




Good .......anyway, this is my heart saying goodbye to a materialistic life. Some days i feel really good, the vague realistic feeling of spending my life in the wrong direction is totally gone. But there are also days when i am laying in my bed and i just can't sleep cause all the plans and horrific ideas are flowing trough my mind. Am i really willing to give up my life, the way i am living it now? Do i really want to give away or sell all my stuff? And i am scared, because what if i really experience such a good feeling of freedom that i never can work with a boss and all? Have a real job, buy a house and be as happy as i am being free? I just don't know. But what i really learned the past few years that you should confront yourself with your fears, and this is one of them...

In the end, when I'm 80 something, and living in my mind and thinking about my past life, i don't want to have the feeling: what if....
In the end, when i die or just being fucking bored with my life because i am 88 and not able to move my ass along the corridors without my walking stick, i want to be able to travel back in my mind of all the experiences of my life.
To die, and have the most experienced life i could ever have lived this life!

jobs abroad!! searching!

Today I am working really hard to get my information all together about work and volunteer jobs in the area i want to travel.

2 days ago i send a letter to this super interesting resort in New Zealand, i liked the way the team was presented. A really relaxed atmosphere of working together, and also a nice advantage of a river nearby for my swimming addiction! It's a wildwaterrafting resort, and i can get a lot of adrenaline kicks there! It's a side of myself i want to discover badly! I can remember, when i was just in primary school, our holidays were spent in the south of Holland near the river the Maas. We had kayaks there, and were allowed to get in the kayaks once in a while. I had a lot of joy of being on water, and the fear of going to far and (maybe) not be able to return back! Anyway, if you want to see what attracts me,
check out the side:
http://www.rivervalley.co.nz/new-zealand-adventure-lodges-river-valley-about-us.html
I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hope they will replay to me (if not I'm gonna call them to tell them why they should hire me!)

the other projects i applied to are volunteer jobs.
One is in Thailand, don't know yet if i am so much interested in Thailand, but starting with contacting is a beginning, and see what they can offer me according to the future interests i have,
Check out the side:
http://www.dalaa-thailand.com


The other project i applied to doesn't have a website, but it is in Indonesia, on one of the Sumatra Islands (Nias Island). The main thing what attracts me about this project is that they really need the help, so if i decide to volunteer somewhere, then go somewhere where they really need it. And of course where i can learn a lot about setting up an organisation, see how the structure works, etc. See where things go wrong, so that we're not gonna have the same problems in Costa Rica.

Well, up till now, i have just found 3 jobs I'm willing to do, so I'm gonna search some more...

bad mood??

yesterday i was in a really bad mood.
i tried to get some mp3 files send to a friend of mine, but the Internet didn't work the way i wanted it, in the end i could just send one file at once, so after 2 hours of trying i quit with it. some days the things just doesn't work the way you want it, don't know why it works one day so smoothly and the other days it doesn't? does somebody have an answer to that?


so, being in such a bad mood, i took a picture.
love the way i can look when i am cranky! one look can kill you, ha ha!